Advice for the LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

relationship. In fact, with the right mindset, the right expectations, and the right pieces of long-distance relationship advice, you can have an LDR that thrives and grows stronger over time. We tapped experts for their advice on the best long-distance relationship tips, what to talk about with your long-distance partner, and more ways to keep it interesting while you're apart. So read on, and keep the spark alive!

Long-distance relationship advice from the pros:

1. Set clear personal boundaries.

One of the most important pieces of long distance relationship advice is to set boundaries. "First and foremost, you and your partner need to set some guidelines: what is acceptable, what isn't," says April Davis, relationship expert and Founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking. You don't need us to tell you that boundaries related to fidelity are important, but it turns out that personal boundaries play a huge role in relationships from afar, as well. "Long distance relationships fail because of a lack of trust and invasion of space, even if it's just virtual space."

2. Pretend you're single.

Yup, for real. Aside from actually having a physical relationship with someone else, experts say you can pretty much behave however you want—kind of like when you were single.
"Do what you want," recommends Gabriella I. Farkas M.D., Ph.D., founder of Pearl Behavioral Health & Medicine. "Rejoice in your life and your accomplishments. Post pictures and statuses on social media about how you are and what you have been doing. Spend time with friends." Basically, enjoy your life!

"The better you know and appreciate yourself, the better you can focus on knowing and appreciating your partner when you are together," she says.

3. Never spend more than three months apart.

An important question everyone seeking long distance relationship advice asks is how long you can go without seeing your partner. "Ideally every three months is the minimum," says Rami Fu, a dating coach and expert, although your timeframe can vary as long as you agree on it together. "This is so you don't forget why you love that person in the first place, and get some sex. It will also allow you to see how they evolve as a person."

4. Don't talk every day. 

You might think talking every single day when you're in an LDR is a must. The truth is, experts say it's really not necessary and might actually be harmful to your relationship. "You don't need to be in constant communication," Davis says. "Keep some of the mystery alive!"
If you go a few days without talking to your S.O., you'll have a more interesting conversation to look forward to in a few days. Plus, keeping tabs on another person and providing them with constant updates can get exhausting.

5. Don't rely on technology exclusively. 

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"In this age of electronic devices, you can connect more deeply with your partner by disconnecting," notes Bonnie Winston, a celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert. "Snail mail is underrated. Try sending a love note a spritz of your favorite cologne or perfume." It's one of the most touching pieces of long distance relationship advice.

6. Know what success means in you.

It's hard to know whether things are going well in your long distance relationship if you don't have a goal in mind. Do you want to make it through a short period of separation? Eventually get married? Stay married even though your jobs are taking you to different locations? Having an idea of what success means to you and whether or not you're getting closer to it is key when you're trying to evaluate whether things are "working" or not.

7. Flirt with other people.

In a way that doesn't escalate, of course. "This may sound risky, but harmless flirtation, like giving your barista a lingering smile or offering a compliment to a stranger can be good for your relationship as long as you're respectful of yourself, your partner, and the third party," says Dr. Jess O'Reilly, Astroglide's resident sexologist. "You don't have to shut down your sensual side just because you're separated by distance. In fact, some of the happiest couples use extra-relational flirting as kindling to fuel their own flirtation, seduction, and sexual spark within the relationship."

8. Do things your partner doesn't enjoy.

Maybe you love shopping, going to the gym, and seeing movies, and your partner doesn't like any of those things. Why not take advantage of your time apart and do as many of those activities as you want? This is an excellent way to find a silver lining in your time away from each other, according to Dr. Farkas.

9. Tell people about the relationship. 

If you're wondering how to make long distance relationships work, you'll have to come clean about the fact that you're in one. "Most long distance relationships don't seem as 'real' as in-person ones," says David Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert. "Part of this is that there is still some stigma associated with them. To make it more normal, make sure everyone that matters to you locally (friends, family, and people who want to date you) knows that you're in a long-distance relationship."
To be clear, you don't have to talk about your S.O. all the time, but keeping them a secret or treating them as an afterthought is a quick way to ruin your relationship's chances of succeeding, Bennett says.

10. Make sure you're not being catfished.